Child inclusive mediation is a process that enables the children of consenting separating parents to have their voice included in the family mediation process.
In child inclusive mediation, a Child Consultant speaks first with both parents separately; this is to assess that the matter is suitable for mediation – and that it is an appropriate process for the children to be involved in.
The Child Consultant then spends time with the children (siblings can attend together but each child is spoken to individually) to talk with them about their thoughts and feelings. In their conversation with the child, the Child Consultant is trying to gain an understanding of the child’s experience of their family and the separation.
The sessions with the children often involve using various forms of play and drawing to help the children answer questions or share their feelings – rather than a more formal question-and-answer session. Child Consultants are highly skilled. They have different strategies to help children of different ages and developmental levels feel safe and comfortable with sharing their feelings and thoughts.
Children are encouraged to only share what they feel comfortable sharing and at the end of the session, the Child Consultant will discuss with the child what can be shared with the parents. Feedback from families that have participated in child inclusive mediation is that some children feel more comfortable expressing their feelings to a neutral person rather than feeling worried about upsetting one or both of their parents.
The Child Consultant then provides feedback to the parents and the mediator. The Child Consultant’s role is not to make decisions but rather to provide the parents with information to have a child-focused mediation. The children are not present during this session. Mediation then occurs between the parents – sometimes on the same date or otherwise at a later time.
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